aussiepom
- Name: Red
- Location: Fishing Village Idiot AU
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Aussie Ballads
The Great Australian Adjective
(W.T.Goode)
The sunburnt "bloody" stockman stood
And, in a dismal "bloody" mood
Apostrophized his "bloody" cuddy
The "bloody" nag's no "bloody" good
He could'nt earn his "bloody" food
A regular "bloody" brumby,
"Bloody!!"
He jumped across the " bloody" horse
And cantered off, of "bloody" course!
The roads were bad and "bloody" muddy
Said he, Well spare me "bloody" days
The "bloody" government's "bloody" way's
"Bloody!!"
He rode up hill, down "bloody" dale
The wind it blew a "bloody" gale
The creek was high and "bloody" floody
Said he, The "bloody" horse must swim
The same for "bloody" me and him
Is something "bloody" sickening
"Bloody!!"
He plunged into the "bloody" creek
The "bloody" horse was "bloody" weak
The stockman's face a "bloody" study
And though the "bloody" horse was drowned
The "bloody" rider reached high ground
Ejaculating,"Bloody?"
"Bloody!!!
My Country
(Dorothea McKellar)
The love of field and coppice,
Of green and shaded lanes,
Of ordered woods and gardens
Is running in your veins.
Strong love of grey-blue distance,
Brown streams and soft, dim skies -
I know but cannot share it,
My love is otherwise.
I love a sunburnt country,
A land of sweeping plains,
Of ragged mountain ranges,
Of droughts and flooding rains.
I love her far horizons,
I love her jewel-sea,
Her beauty and her terror
The wide brown land for me!
The stark white ring-barked forests,
All tragic to the moon,
The sapphire-misted mountains,
The hot gold hush of noon,
Green tangle of the brushes
Where lithe lianas coil,
And orchids deck the tree-tops,
And ferns the warm dark soil.
Core of my heart, my country!
Her pitiless blue sky,
When, sick at heart, around us
We see the cattle die
But then the grey clouds gather,
And we can bless again
The drumming of an army,
The steady soaking rain.
Core of my heart, my country!
Land of the rainbow gold,
For flood and fire and famine
She pays us back threefold.
Over the thirsty paddocks,
Watch, after many days,
The filmy veil of greenness
That thickens as we gaze.
An opal-hearted country,
A wilful, lavish land
All you who have not loved her,
You will not understand
Though earth holds many splendours,
Wherever I may die,
I know to what brown country
My homing thoughts will fly.
Aussie Ballads
Andy's Gone With Cattle
(by Henry Lawson)
Our Andy's gone to battle now
'Gainst Drought, the red marauder;
Our Andy's gone with cattle now
Across the Queensland border.
He's left us in dejection now;
Our hearts with him are roving.
It's dull on this selection now,
Since Andy went a-droving.
Who now shall wear the cheerful face
In times when things are slackest?
And who shall whistle round the place
When Fortune frowns her blackest?
Oh, who shall cheek the squatter now
When he comes round us snarling?
His tongue is growing hotter now
Since Andy cross'd the Darling.
The gates are out of order now,
In storms the "riders" rattle;
For far across the border now
Our Andy's gone with cattle.
Poor Aunty's looking thin and white;
And Uncle's cross with worry;
And poor old Blucher howls all night
Since Andy left Macquarie.
Oh, may the showers in torrents fall,
And all the tanks run over;
And may the grass grow green and tall
In pathways of the drover;
And may good angels send the rain
On desert stretches sandy;
And when the summer comes again
God grant 'twill bring us Andy.
(by Henry Lawson)
Our Andy's gone to battle now
'Gainst Drought, the red marauder;
Our Andy's gone with cattle now
Across the Queensland border.
He's left us in dejection now;
Our hearts with him are roving.
It's dull on this selection now,
Since Andy went a-droving.
Who now shall wear the cheerful face
In times when things are slackest?
And who shall whistle round the place
When Fortune frowns her blackest?
Oh, who shall cheek the squatter now
When he comes round us snarling?
His tongue is growing hotter now
Since Andy cross'd the Darling.
The gates are out of order now,
In storms the "riders" rattle;
For far across the border now
Our Andy's gone with cattle.
Poor Aunty's looking thin and white;
And Uncle's cross with worry;
And poor old Blucher howls all night
Since Andy left Macquarie.
Oh, may the showers in torrents fall,
And all the tanks run over;
And may the grass grow green and tall
In pathways of the drover;
And may good angels send the rain
On desert stretches sandy;
And when the summer comes again
God grant 'twill bring us Andy.
Australian Story:
I'm The Man. I'm the man they talk about, "The Man From Snowy River".
The one who did those daring deeds that made old Clancy shiver.
It's true I had a skinny horse an he wasn't all that hot,
But in times gone by one had to do with what he'd got.
I came fro Snowy River down Kosciusko's side.
As a lad I had no saddle and that's how I learnt to ride.
I heard about the escapee, the colt from old Regret,
And always one for a bit of fun, I joined up for a bet.
I turned up at the homestead with that wild and woolly lot,
And the old man said I'd never do - couldn't keep up at a trot.
So then my old friend Clancy stood up for me with a grin.
And the old man never argued 'cause he knew he'd never win.
We galloped off into those hills, my horse was pulling madly,
Whenever we had company that horse would go so badly.
We found a mob of brumbies and the colt was with them too.
As the old man gave his orders off into the scrub they flew.
The stockmen rode to wheel them, Clancy raced along their wing,
And my young heart beat so rapidly as I heard the stockwhips sing.
When we reached the mountain's summit even Clancy pulled his steed,
But the yang that I was riding had no mouth and would not heed.
They say I swung my stockwhip 'round. They say I gave a cheer,
But I was struggling with my nag, Those cheers were yells of fear!
It was only fear that saved me, fear had glued me to my seat,
And I never ever dared deny my confidence in that feat.
When I finally reached the bottom of that terrible decent,
I saw a whisp of dust to tell which way the brumbies went.
I found them in a dead-ender in a gully walled with stone,
And that's how I came to turn them back, how I did it on my own.
I know I haven't got the right to stake my claim to fame,
So, having set the record straight - I'll just leave out my name….
…………. Anon ……………..
Aussie Songs
(below the song most Aussies would prefer as their anthem, but so far it has been on deaf ears down in Canberra.)
I Am Australian
I came from the dream-time,
From the dusty red-soil plains.
I am the ancient heart,
The keeper of the flame.
I stood upon the rocky shores,
I watched the tall ships come,
For forty thousand years I've been
The first Australian.
I came upon the prison ship,
Bowed down by iron chains,
I fought the land, endured the lash,
And waited for the rains.
I'm a settler, I'm a farmer's wife
On a dry and barren run,
A convict, then a free man,
I became Australian.
I'm the daughter of a digger
Who sought the mother lode.
The girl became a woman
On the long and dusty road.
I'm a child of the Depression,
I saw the good times come,
I'm a bushie, I'm a battler,
I am Australian.
We are one, but we are many,
And from all the lands on earth we come.
We'll share a dream and sing with one voice,
"I am, you are, we are Australian"
I'm a teller of stories,
I'm a singer of songs,
I am Albert Namatjira
And I paint the ghostly gums.
I'm Clancy on his horse,
I'm Ned Kelly on the run,
I'm the one who waltzed Matilda,
I am Australian.
I'm the hot wind from the desert,
I'm the black soil of the plains,
I'm the mountains and the valleys,
I'm the drought and flooding rains.
I am the rock, I am the sky,
The rivers when they run,
The spirit of this great land,
I am Australian.
We are one, but we are many,
And from all the lands on earth we come.
We'll share a dream and sing with one voice,
"I am, you are, we are Australian."
"I am, you are, we are Australian."
Pub With No Beer
(Slim Dusty)
It's lonesome away from your kindred and all
By the campfire at night, where the wild dingos call.
But there's nothing so lonesome, morbid or drear
Than to stand in the bar of a Pub with no beer.
Now the publican's anxious for the quota to come
And there's a faraway look on the face of the bum.
The maid's gone all cranky, and the cook's actin' queer,
Oh what a terrible place is a Pub with no beer.
Then the stockman rides up, with his dry dusty throat.
He breasts up to the bar, and pulls a wog from his coat.
But the smile on his face quickly turns to a sneer
As the barman says sadly, "The pub's got no beer."
Then the swaggie comes in, smothered in dust and flies.
He throws down his roll, and rubs the sweat from his eyes.
But when he is told, he says "What's this I hear?
I've trudged 50 flamin' miles to a Pub with no beer!"
There's a dog on the verandah, for his master he waits.
But the boss is inside, drinking wine with his mates.
He hurries for cover, and he cringes in fear.
It's no place for a dog, round a Pub with no beer!
Old Billy the blacksmith, the first time in his life
Has gone home cold sober to his darling wife.
He walks in the kitchen. She says "You're early my dear!"
But then he breaks down, and he tells her
"The Pub's got no beer!"
So it's lonesome away from your kindred and all
By the campfire at night, where the wild dingos call.
But there's nothing so lonesome, morbid or drear
Than to stand in the bar of a Pub with no beer!
Farewell to old England forever"
Farewell to old England forever
Farewell to my rum culls as well
Farewell to the well known Old Bailey
Where I used for to cut such a swell
Singing Tooral liooral liaddity
Singing Tooral liooral liay
Singing Tooral liooral liaddity
And we're bound for Botany Bay
There's the captain as is our commander
There's the bosun and all the ship's crew
There's the first and the second class passengers
Knows what we poor convicts go through
Taint leaving old England we cares about
Taint cos we mis-spells what we knows
But because all we light fingered gentry
Hops around with a log on our toes
These seven long years I've been serving now
And seven long more have to stay
All for bashing a bloke down our alley
And taking his ticker away
Oh had I the wings of a turtle dove
I'd soar on my pinions so high
Slap bang to the arms of my Polly love
And in her sweet presence I'd die
Now all my young Dookies and Dutchesses
Take warning from what I've to say
Mind all is your own as you touches
Or you'll find us in Botany Bay
Downunder
I moved all the way from here 
to all the way down here
to all the way down here
Australia is the strangest continent on earth. Australia has more unique animals than Europe and North America combined. They survive on a continent that is the driest and harshest of all the lands on earth. One hundred million years ago a land mass broke away from the rest and drifted southwards with all the unique animals and rain-forests of the world, all this found only in Australia. Today you can still see what Australia was like all those years ago before she broke away by taking a trip to Tasmania that hasn't changed much since the break. The rain-forest still exists on the Eastern Side of Australia where here does get ample rain to support these forests. Head down south from here and in the winter it snows in places up to thirty metres deep and includes blizzards, many Australian Marsupial's survive here including the wombat. These animals are normally nocturnal but during the snow months they have to eat during the day and sleep at night another indication as how these unique animals have survived this harsh unforgiving land. The lush Rain-forests that are full of exotic bird life and animals including the striped possum and sugar glider possums. Then the rain-forests peter out to scrub to create space for our other unique animals which include kangaroos and emus. These need space as they can outrun a horse and it wouldn't be wise to have to crash through the dense rain-forest now would it? The Australian bush can be a very dangerous place to these animals (humans as well) as the bush when it is tender dry, is full of oils in its bark and leaves. If lightning (or some idiot moron with a match) strikes this, the trees burst into flame. We lose many of our unique wildlife through these fires but they always bounce back eventually. The burnt out bush is something to see when weeks even days later new green growth bursts and sparkles in the sunshine as the bush has learnt how to survive bush-fires. This brings back the animals that had fled when the fire first broke. There are humane animal rescue services for these harrowing bush-fire victims and they too eventually return the healed animals from these fires back into these areas.
Australia was the first country in the world to have introduced a new system of bank notes based on plastic (polymer), which helps in the security of fighting counterfeiting and lasts four times as long as conventional paper notes. Footnote: I can vouch for last as a few times too many have washed them! *lol
Australia is one of the oldest lands in the world the corrosion of 250 million years have turned it into a flat stable land mass. The highest peak is Mt Kosciusko in NSW, which rises 2228 metres above sea level.
World Clock
AussiePom Website
Facts About Australia
The oldest skeleton found in Australia was at Lake Mungo in New South Wales. It is believed to be 38,000 years old and is the skeleton of a female.
No part of Australia is further than 1000 kilometers from the sea.
The Great Barrier Reef is the longest coral reef in the world, extending over 2,012.5 kilometers.
Between the towns of Ooldia and Nurina in Western Australia, is the world's longest straight stretch of railway, 478.4 kilometers in length.
Western Australia is three and a half times as big as Texas.
Australia is the world's largest inhabited island and the smallest continent.
The Australian coastline totals 36,735 kilometers
The world's largest cattle station, 30,028.3 km2, is almost the same size as Belgium.
Australia is the only English-speaking country to have made voting compulsory in federal and state elections. It results in a voter turnout of 95 per cent.
The Olympic symbol is made up of five rings, standing for Europe, Asia, Africa, Australia, and North America.
In land area, Australia is the sixth largest nation after Russia, Canada, China, the United States of America and Brazil.
Australia is the only nation to govern an entire continent and its outlying islands.
The practice of naming hurricanes began early this century when an Australian weather forecaster named tropical storms after politicians that he didn't like.
Macadamia nuts are native to Australia. They are named for John Macadam, a Scottish born physician and chemist who promoted the nuts cultivation in Australia.
Powdered butter was developed in Australia in 1962.
QUESTIONS TO AN AUSTRALIAN TOURISM WEBSITE....REALLY FUNNY!
These Questions were posted on an Australian Tourism Website and the answers are the actual responses by the website officials, who obviously have a great sense of humour.
Q: Does it ever get windy in Australia ? I have never seen it rain on TV, how do the plants grow? (UK).
A: We import all plants fully grown and then just sit around watching them die.
__________________________________________________
Q: Will I be able to see kangaroos in the street? (USA)
A: Depends how much you've been drinking.
__________________________________________________
Q: I want to walk from Perth to Sydney - can I follow the railroad tracks? (Sweden)
A: Sure, it's only three thousand miles, take lots of water.
__________________________________________________
Q: Are there any ATMs (cash machines) in Australia ? Can you send me a list of them in Brisbane, Cairns, Townsville and Hervey Bay? (UK)
A: What did your last slave die of?
Q: Can you give me some information about hippo racing in Australia ? (USA)
A: A-Fri-ca is the big triangle shaped continent south of Europe ...
Aus-tra-lia is that big island in the middle of the Pacific which does not
... Oh forget it. Sure, the hippo racing is every Tuesday night in Kings Cross. Come naked.
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Q: Which direction is North in Australia ? (USA)
A: Face south and then turn 180 degrees. Contact us when you get here and we'll send the rest of the directions.
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Q: Can I bring cutlery into Australia ? (UK)
A: Why? Just use your fingers like we do...
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Q:Can you send me the Vienna Boys' Choir schedule? (USA)
A: Aus-tri-a is that quaint little country bordering Ger-man-y, which is
Oh forget it. Sure, the Vienna Boys Choir plays every Tuesday night in Kings Cross, straight after the hippo races. Come naked.
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Q: Can I wear high heels in Australia? (UK)
A: You are a British politician, right?
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Q: Are there supermarkets in Sydney and is milk available all year round? (Germany)
A: No, we are a peaceful civilization of vegan hunter/gatherers.
Milk is illegal.
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Q: Please send a list of all doctors in Australia who can Dispense rattlesnake serum. (USA)
A: Rattlesnakes live in A-meri-ca which is where YOU come from.
All Australian snakes are perfectly harmless, can be safely handled and make good pets.
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Q: I have a question about a famous animal in Australia , but I forget its name. It's a kind of bear and lives in trees. (USA)
A: It's called a Drop Bear. They are so called because they drop out of Gum trees and eat the brains of anyone walking underneath them.
You can scare them off by spraying yourself with human urine before you go out walking.
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Q: I have developed a new product that is the fountain of youth. Can you tell me where I can sell it in Australia ? (USA)
A: Anywhere significant numbers of Americans gather.
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Q: Do you celebrate Christmas in Australia? (France)
A: Only at Christmas.
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Q: Will I be able to speak English most places I go? (USA)
A: Yes, but you'll have to learn it first.
The differences between Aussies, Brits, Americans and Candadians
Aussies: Believe you should look out for your mates.
Brits: Believe that you should look out for those people who belong to your club.
Americans: Believe that people should look out for and take care of themselves.
Canadians: Believe that that is the government's job.
Aussies: Dislike being mistaken for Pommies (Brits) when abroad.
Canadians: Are rather indignant about being mistaken for Americans when abroad.
Americans: Encourage being mistaken for Canadians when abroad.
Brits: Can't possibly be mistaken for anyone else when abroad.
Canadians: Endure bitterly cold winters and are proud of it.
Brits: Endure oppressively wet and dreary winters and are proud of it.
Americans: Don't have to do either, and couldn't care less.
Aussies: Don't understand what inclement weather means.
Americans: Drink weak, pissy-tasting beer.
Canadians: Drink strong, pissy-tasting beer.
Brits: Drink warm, beery-tasting piss.
Aussies: Drink anything with alcohol in it.
Americans: Seem to think that poverty and failure are morally suspect.
Canadians: Seem to believe that wealth and success are morally suspect.
Brits: Seem to believe that wealth, poverty, success, and failure are inherited.
Aussies: Seem to think that none of this matters after several beers.
Brits: Have produced many great comedians, celebrated by Canadians, ignored by Americans, and therefore not rich.
Aussies: Have produced comedians like Paul Hogan and Yahoo Serious.
Canadians: Have produced many great comedians such as John Candy, Martin Short, Jim Carrey, Dan Akroyd, and all the rest at SCTV.
Americans: Think that these people are American!
Americans: Spend most of their lives glued to the idiot box.
Canadians: Don't, but only because they can't get more American channels.
Brits: Pay a tax just so they can watch 4 channels.
Aussies: Export all their crappy programs, which no one there watches, to Britain, where everybody loves them.
Americans: Will jabber on incessantly about football, baseball and basketball.
Brits: Will jabber on incessantly about cricket, soccer and rugby.
Canadians: Will jabber on incessantly about hockey, hockey, hockey, and how they beat the Americans twice, playing baseball.
Aussies: Will jabber on incessantly about how they beat the Poms in every sport they played them in.
Aussies: Are extremely patriotic about their beer.
Americans: Are flag-waving, anthem-singing, and obsessively patriotic to the point of blindness.
Canadians: Can't agree on the words to their anthem, in either language, when they can be bothered to sing them.
Brits: Do not sing at all but prefer a large brass band to perform the anthem.
Brits: Are justifiably proud of the accomplishments of their past citizens.
Americans: Are justifiably proud of the accomplishments of their present citizens.
Canadians: Prattle on about how some of those great Americans were once Canadian.
Aussies: Waffle on about how some of their past citizens were once Outlaw Pommies, but none of that matters after several beers.
Famous Aussie Ballads
The Man from Snowy River
(Banjo Paterson)
(Banjo Paterson)
There was movement at the station, for the word had passed around
That the colt from old Regret had got away,
And had joined the wild bush horses -- he was worth a thousand pound,
So all the cracks had gathered to the fray.
All the tried and noted riders from the stations near and far
Had mustered at the homestead overnight,
For the bushmen love hard riding where the wild bush horses are,
And the stock-horse snuffs the battle with delight.
There was Harrison, who made his pile when Pardon won the cup,
The old man with his hair as white as snow;
But few could ride beside him when his blood was fairly up --
He would go wherever horse and man could go.
And Clancy of the Overflow came down to lend a hand,
No better horseman ever held the reins;
For never horse could throw him while the saddle-girths would stand,
He learnt to ride while droving on the plains.
And one was there, a stripling on a small and weedy beast,
He was something like a racehorse undersized,
With a touch of Timor pony -- three parts thoroughbred at least --
And such as are by mountain horsemen prized.
He was hard and tough and wiry -- just the sort that won't say die--
There was courage in his quick impatient tread;
And he bore the badge of gameness in his bright and fiery eye,
And the proud and lofty carriage of his head.
But still so slight and weedy, one would doubt his power to stay,
And the old man said, "That horse will never do
For a long and tiring gallop -- lad, you'd better stop away,
Those hills are far too rough for such as you."
So he waited sad and wistful -- only Clancy stood his friend --
"I think we ought to let him come," he said;
"I warrant he'll be with us when he's wanted at the end,
For both his horse and he are mountain bred."
"He hails from Snowy River, up by Kosciusko's side,
Where the hills are twice as steep and twice as rough,
Where a horse's hoofs strike firelight from the flint stones every stride,
The man that holds his own is good enough.
And the Snowy River riders on the mountains make their home,
Where the river runs those giant hills between;
I have seen full many horsemen since I first commenced to roam,
But nowhere yet such horsemen have I seen."
So he went -- they found the horses by the big mimosa clump --
They raced away towards the mountain's brow,
And the old man gave his orders, "Boys, go at them from the jump,
No use to try for fancy riding now.
And, Clancy, you must wheel them, try and wheel them to the right.
Ride boldly, lad, and never fear the spills,
For never yet was rider that could keep the mob in sight,
If once they gain the shelter of those hills."
So Clancy rode to wheel them -- he was racing on the wing
Where the best and boldest riders take their place,
And he raced his stock-horse past them, and he made the ranges ring
With the stockwhip, as he met them face to face.
Then they halted for a moment, while he swung the dreaded lash,
But they saw their well-loved mountain full in view,
And they charged beneath the stockwhip with a sharp and sudden dash,
And off into the mountain scrub they flew.
Then fast the horsemen followed, where the gorges deep and black
Resounded to the thunder of their tread,
And the stockwhips woke the echoes, and they fiercely answered back
From cliffs and crags that beetled overhead.
And upward, ever upward, the wild horses held their way,
Where mountain ash and kurrajong grew wide;
And the old man muttered fiercely, "We may bid the mob good day,
No man can hold them down the other side."
When they reached the mountain's summit, even Clancy took a pull,
It well might make the boldest hold their breath,
The wild hop scrub grew thickly, and the hidden ground was full
Of wombat holes, and any slip was death.
But the man from Snowy River let the pony have his head,
And he swung his stockwhip round and gave a cheer,
And he raced him down the mountain like a torrent down its bed,
While the others stood and watched in very fear.
He sent the flint stones flying, but the pony kept his feet,
He cleared the fallen timber in his stride,
And the man from Snowy River never shifted in his seat --
It was grand to see that mountain horseman ride.
Through the stringy barks and saplings, on the rough and broken ground,
Down the hillside at a racing pace he went;
And he never drew the bridle till he landed safe and sound,
At the bottom of that terrible descent.
He was right among the horses as they climbed the further hill,
And the watchers on the mountain standing mute,
Saw him ply the stockwhip fiercely, he was right among them still,
As he raced across the clearing in pursuit.
Then they lost him for a moment, where two mountain gullies met
In the ranges, but a final glimpse reveals
On a dim and distant hillside the wild horses racing yet,
With the man from Snowy River at their heels.
And he ran them single-handed till their sides were white with foam.
He followed like a bloodhound on their track,
Till they halted cowed and beaten, then he turned their heads for home,
And alone and unassisted brought them back.
But his hardy mountain pony he could scarcely raise a trot,
He was blood from hip to shoulder from the spur;
But his pluck was still undaunted, and his courage fiery hot,
For never yet was mountain horse a cur.
And down by Kosciusko, where the pine-clad ridges raise
Their torn and rugged battlements on high,
Where the air is clear as crystal, and the white stars fairly blaze
At midnight in the cold and frosty sky,
And where around the Overflow the reedbeds sweep and sway
To the breezes, and the rolling plains are wide,
The man from Snowy River is a household word to-day,
And the stockmen tell the story of his ride.
